There is an interesting social media post with 4 slides. I won’t paste them here because there’s really only a minority chance that they’re human-made, and if anyone can find a human creator, please pop that information in the comments below?
The 4 images are of a medieval knight in shining armour motif and a woman [not in armour], but the point of each slide is how men do NOT need to save women. Whatever chivalry used to mean, and what it means now: these are live discussions.
Each slide has its own text.
But Lloyd? Lloyd Dobler is pretty grounded. He has always been a great role model for men and boys, as the movie is almost 40 years old.
Slide 1. “a man who doesn’t shout when he’s angry”
Lloyd Dobler, in Say Anything [1989], does not yell or get angry with his girlfriend. Instead he cries in the rain. He seeks counsel from people, and also takes some solitary time.
Slide 2. “a man who doesn’t feel threatened by my success”
Lloyd has a kick boxing passion, “the sport of the future,” and clearly uses that martial art to be a well emotionally-regulated man [see Slide 1]. He is also content in not yet knowing his life’s vocational plan. They’re so young. And he is 0% threatened by Diane’s monstrous academic achievements, but loves encouraging her in them.
Slide 3. “a man who wants to be a husband instead of just having a wife”
Lloyd shows through the entire movie that he is showing up for Diane in her successes and struggles. Being a partner means being and doing the work. He doesn’t “get” her to like him, then start a relationship, then ignore her because she’s just arm candy, as a very successful person, admired by her peers.
Shoresy also gets it done:
- “I’d be so good to you. You’ll just see me in the morning, being good to you.” – Shoresy
- āIād like to see if I could somehow make your life easier.ā – Shoresy
Slide 4. “a man who knows i can do it myself, but wants to do it for me anyway”
The most obvious example of wanting to do something for your partner in Say Anything is when Lloyd is teaching Diane to drive a standard transmission, she struggles with the stick [so normal], then starts to get the hang of it. Later in the movie she is comfortably driving. But when she was learning, Lloyd was happy to take over driving for the time. She could have kept driving, and they both knew it, but he was willing to drive anyway, and in no way did he need to denigrate her when it took the wheel.
A quieter example is when they’re having coffee, sitting side by side, and Diane wanted the milk to add to hers. She looks at the little milk thing, not saying anything [get that?!], Lloyd looks to the milk and hands it to her. Lots of other things are going on in that scene as well, but part of that dynamic is that even though he is closer, he hands it to her.
Lloyd. Some young men in this movie started rapping at one point, “Lloyd, Lloyd, all null and void.” Wildly, he is neither.